Stop the Excuses!

This probably has to be one of my biggest pet peeves.  Stop making excuses for why you "can't" do things.  Just do them.

As an avid gamer, I can honestly say there isn't a game out there, that's unbeatable.  As difficult as some parts are, really, with the right strategy, persistence and the patience to fail a lot, you can beat any boss, complete any level or cross any finish line.  The same is basically true in real life.  Don't get me wrong, "get rich quick" schemes are an exception.  There is no shortcut method to success.  But if you have the right strategy, persistence and patience to fail a lot, you can do just about anything.

When I decided to go back to school, I was 28.  It was bittersweet.  I have ADHD.  Not the over-diagnosed excuse for why children don't behave, the actual neurological disorder.  I had such a horrible experience in school growing up, being in and out of  "special needs" programs.  I often had to miss class time to go to the "resource room".   I was sent to the principle's office so often in elementary school, I had my own desk, right next to our principal, Mr. Couture.  He was actually a very good principal.  It wasn't because I was a bad kid.  I just "couldn't focus".  This issue followed me around all the way through high school, where after a plethora of medications, I  honestly gave up.  The amount of stigma that followed me made it nearly impossible on me socially, as I was always "outside" of the group in the "resource room".  Because of the time spent there, I would be compared by other kids to the other occupants of the room.  Kids with various other learning problems, a lot of them far more severe than mine.  I was known as the stupid kid that never did her homework.  I was picked on relentlessly.  I took comfort in the theater club where I could easily hide, play after play in whatever random character I was cast in.  And I was really good at it.  I think sometimes that's the only thing that got me through that time of my life.  By the time I graduated, my image of myself was so low, I, in no exaggeration, thought I was "retarded."  Now, I don't like that word.  And cringe using it.  But at 17, that was exactly how it felt and that was the name I was called.  When I was a senior and trying to be positive about maybe an education, I went to my guidance counselor, to ask for advice on financial aid.  My family was broke.  My sister had  received a liver transplant 3 years prior, and I knew my parents couldn't help at all, even though they wanted to.  That guidance counselor, Kathy Cornell (who is one of very few people that I will ever call out by name), said to me, "Don't waste my time, don't even bother trying, you will never get into any college."  I was devastated.

So I took the only option I thought I had, and joined the Air Force.  Turns out, I wasn't "retarded".  I tested exceptionally well at any test they gave me.  I was always in the top 10% of anyone that had previously taken the tests.  It didn't help my self image much.  I still struggled a lot, made a lot of bad decisions and did very little to better myself.

At 28, I was finally fed up with the endless cycle of temp jobs and retail.  I decided to give it one more try.  I took 2 classes.  My mother actually paid for it.  A lot had changed for my parents, they weren't exactly broke anymore and I think it was her way to push me towards moving in some direction.  Possibly also to get me out of the house.  Anyway, I'm digressing.  I took 2 courses, the deal was they could be anything I wanted.  Just go to school.  I picked COBOL Programming (yes, the still teach that) and Video Game Design.  Voila, 4.0 GPA.  After that, I decided to try a little more programming and then a little more.  After a few semesters, I was enrolled part-time as a Computer Science major.  It was scary.  Here was this stupid kid that never did her homework, taking classes like Calculus II, Discrete Structures, Advanced Java (Honors) and Chemistry II (Honors).  Every class was a level in the game I needed to get past, every professor was a boss I needed to defeat.  I graduated Magna Cum Laude, as with the honored title "Commonwealth Scholar".  My name is on a plaque at the school for academic excellence.  I also became a published author on the subject of ADHD.  An essay I wrote about my experience growing up with it is now in a textbook, that will be ready by an awful lot of fresh faces, some of them might even be struggling like I was.  Not bad for a stupid kid that learned the value of remembering to do her homework.  I'd also like to point out, that I did it without using the resources available for students with learning disabilities.  No help.  It was me against... me.

I went on to get my BS in Computer Science at U. Massachuetts, Dartmouth.  Once again, I graduated with high marks.  I won an award for having the highest GPA of all the women enrolled (another plaque with my name on it).

My point is this.  Never once when I was growing up, did I ever think for one minute that I could complete college, let alone Computer Science and with academic accolades.  But I did it.  It wasn't easy.  A lot of times I came extremely close to giving up.  I wanted it so badly, I did everything I could to make sure I succeeded.  I had to stop making excuses for why it wasn't possible.  I just had to do it.  I made a plan, stuck to it, and pushed on in the face of certain failure.  So the next time you say to yourself, I can't get an education, I'm too old to learn how to snowboard (been there, said that, did it anyway), I'll never be successful or any other form of excuse for why you can't do something, try stepping back, forming a plan and doing it anyway.  You might just surprise yourself.